


The Newbie

by asamandra



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint and Tony are insatiable, M/M, POV Outsider, Prompt Fill, they fuck everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 18:46:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1276942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/pseuds/asamandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Tony have sex in SHIELD HQ... everywhere!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The corridor

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt at avengerkink: [ Clint/Tony, Having sex in SHIELD HQ](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/18271.html?thread=42559839#t42559839)
> 
> There are a few warnings that new Agents are told, concerning Agent Barton and the one and only Tony Stark - and that is to be prepared to turn around immediately when turning corners onto supposedly empty hallways; to either knock on or place ear on closet doors to check if they are 'occupied' or not; to double check that meeting/briefing rooms are empty before entering; etc, etc.
> 
> Basically, Tony and Clint love fooling with the agents of SHIELD, love seeing how much they can do before Fury explodes, and love fucking every chance they get (bottom Tony please) - put that all together and you've got these two idiots having sex in each and every place they can at SHIELD HQ. Go nuts! XD

It was Theresa's first day at HQ since she had completed her training. Deputy Director Hill herself had assigned her to Agent Norman James's team and she was on her way to his office to meet him. She looked again at the paper she had given her and tried to find her way through all those confusing corridors and hallways.

Theresa just looked up and saw the agent in front of her turning around the corner and immediately turn back. He grabbed her arm and led her away from the corridor she had to use.

“Uhm... sir... I need to...” she pointed at the corridor behind her and the man beside her shook his head.

“You're new here?” he asked and she nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Believe me when I tell you that you don't want to go that way. You definitely don't want to use this corridor right now.”

Another agent, who had been behind them, looked at the man who held her arm.

“Barton and Stark again?” he asked and the other man snorted.

“Of course.”

Theresa stopped when she heard a hoarse groan from behind the corner and the two agents pinched the bridges of their noses.

“Uhm... sirs...”

“Just... just wait a minute or two,” the man who had led her away said and the other hummed and stared at the ceiling with a frustrated expression on his face. It didn't take too long and two men, a blond and a dark haired one, came around, broadly grinning.

“Seriously, Barton?” The first guy asked and one of the two, the blond one with his impressive arms in a sleeveless shirt, grinned.

“Come on, don't get your panties in a knot, Sitwell.” The dark haired guy replied.

“You're here for what? Ten minutes? And you can't keep it in your pants?” The other asked and the blond shrugged.

“Hey, I'm a mere human. How am I supposed to resist that ass?” His smirk broadened when he swatted the dark haired man's butt.

“Go... go away, Barton. Just go,” the agent, Sitwell, said and the two men disappeared laughing.

“Rule number one, newbie,” the other agent added, “If you have to turn a corner be prepared to flee as fast as possible. All the more if these two are here.”

“Uhm...”

“They fuck everywhere, be aware!”

“Okay, thanks for the warning, sir.” Theresa looked in the direction where the two man had disappeared to and made a note to ask Agent James about them.


	2. The closet

Theresa knocked at the door to Agent James's office when she finally could use the corridor again.

“Enter,” she heard a voice and she went in. The agent was about forty years old, big, red haired with an ugly mustache but he smiled at her when he saw her. “You're Junior Agent O'Connell?” he asked and Theresa nodded.

“Yes, sir.” She handed him the sheet of paper Deputy Director Hill had given her and he looked at it. 

“Okay, you'll meet the team later. Now...” they got interrupted by another knock. “Enter,” James said and another man came in. He was about late twenties, blond and cute, Theresa had to admit.

“Agent O'Connell, meet Agent Hobbs.” They shook hands and Hobbs leaned against the bookshelf and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“Agent Hobbs is our pilot, comms and tech guy,” James smiled. “He'll show you around.” 

Theresa followed Hobbs when James dismissed her with a gesture.

 

 

Three hours later she had seen nearly everything. There wasn't a chance to see the control room, not as long as she was just Junior Agent but on their way back to the quarters she saw the two men from the corridor incident again, grinning... and sneaking out of a wall closet while another agent yelled at them. 

“Uhm...” Theresa stared when she realized that the blond man looked in her direction and winked. Hobbs sighed. 

“I guess during your weapons training you've heard about Agent Barton?” he asked and Theresa nodded and then her eyes went wide. _This_ is the infamous Agent Barton? The man who never misses a target?

“Yes, I've heard about him. That's this guy?” she asked and Hobbs nodded. 

“And the other one is the one and only Tony 'Iron Man' Stark. Be careful if you ever need to open one of the wall closets. Knock or better put your ear on the door. Sometimes they are... well... occupied.”

“You mean...” she looked at them and the dark haired guy, Stark, closed his fly and then patted the other agent's cheek. 

“Rule number one, if you have to turn a corner be prepared to flee as fast as possible. Rule number two, don't open a closet without checking if it's occupied. They fuck everywhere.” Hobbs shook his head.

“Yeah, this other agent... Sitwell... said something like that.” 

“It's true. I won't imagine what they do over in Stark's tower but here...” he sighed. “We have a betting pool how long it takes till Director Fury explodes. If you are interested...” 

“No, but thanks for the warning. I will keep that in mind.”


	3. The conference room

It was her third day here at HQ when Agent Nolan, weapons and tactics, called her to a team meeting. They had a mission. Theresa was nervous as fuck, it was her first _real_ mission, after all. 

“Hey,” she smiled when she met Mary on her way to the conference room. “Nervous?” she asked and Theresa nodded. They had trainings missions during their training but that wasn't comparable to a real mission. 

“It won't be as bad as you think. Just listen to James's orders and do what they taught you in training. I've seen you at the range, you're good.” Mary said and Theresa nodded again. 

They left the elevator and walked to the conference rooms and Mary opened the door. And then she cursed. Theresa got a small glimpse of two men in the room, one of them, the dark haired one, bent over the table, his pants tangled around his knees and the other one, the blonde, holding his hips and... Theresa closed her eyes with a yelp.

“The fuck, Barton!” Mary yelled and then Theresa heard one of them moan and the other one chuckle.

“Close the door, Nolan, we're almost done here.” She slammed it shut.

“What's wrong?” Theresa heard Daniel's voice and opened her eyes again. 

“What do you think is wrong, Hobbs! Barton and Stark are in there and have a guess what they are doing,” Mary snapped and Daniel chuckled. 

“Rule number three?” he asked and Mary sighed.

“Yes, yes, yes... we were talking and...” 

“You just opened the door,” Daniel finished the sentence. 

“How many rules do you have?” Theresa asked and Mary sighed. 

“Too many actually,” they heard a voice and the Agents James, Thompson, Marks, Hill and Sitwell arrived for the briefing. Deputy Director Hill's face was dark with anger and she teared open the door. She just wanted to give them a piece of her mind but then she cursed. James looked over her shoulder and saw the other door open and Barton and Stark were gone. 

“It can't go on like this, Maria,” James said and Hill turned around.

“Do you think I don't know that? But they try to provoke Director Fury and he... he refuses to give in.” 

“Okay, let's get this done,” Sitwell said and all of them entered the room. It was awkward and Theresa always had to look at the table where Barton had fucked Iron Man and she saw a certain stain on the floor below the table but all of the others pretended to not see it. 

“Rule number three, don't open the door to a conference room without double check if it's empty,” Daniel whispered and Theresa looked concentrated at Agent Hill and _not_ at the stain on the floor.

“Thanks, I won't forget this,” she said.


	4. The quinjet

The difference between a real mission and a trainings mission was that in a real mission no one stood behind you and told you what to do. One of Theresa's weak points was to find the things she needed in a quinjet. In the cramped space everything had to be in a certain spot and Agent James had seen that she had to search for the tool set during their last mission. And so he had sent her down to the quinjets with Agent Marks, their co-pilot, to refresh her quinjet instruction.

Agent Marks was a quiet man, he didn't speak too much and when he did then it was mostly just a few words. He wasn't unsympathetic for a sniper but Theresa was sure he will never be her favorite team-mate. 

One of the jets was currently in the hangar where the techs should check it through but they had lunch break right now and so they could use this one, Marks had said. He didn't use as many words, though. They entered the huge hangar and found the jet with open hatch and Marks shooed her over. But before they could enter they heard voices from the inside.

“Oh god, Clint, yes, that's it... oh my god, do that again... fuck... yes, that's it...” 

“You like that,” the other voice groaned and then Theresa heard skin slapping on skin. “God, you're perfect, Tony...” 

“Faster, please... yes... oh my god!” 

“Barton! Stark!” Marks yelled and entered the quinjet after gesturing to her that she should stay outside. “What the fuck are you doing in here?” 

“Shit... well, what does it look like for you?” 

“You two idiots can't fuck in the quinjet! Do you know how many regulations you...”

“Calm down, Larry. Just because you don't...” 

“And why the fuck do you have to use the co-pilot's seat? When you soil it it's me who has to sit in your mess.” 

“That's why we didn't use the pilot's seat.” 

“Barton, I swear to god...” 

Two seconds later Theresa saw Barton and Stark run out of the quinjet, only partially dressed and each one with a bundle of clothes in their hands. They grinned like loons. 

Marks came out of the quinjet, pointed with two fingers at his eyes and then at Barton and Stark and Barton smirked and blew him a kiss while Stark slapped Barton's arm and both vanished as quick as possible when Marks started to walk in their direction. 

He stopped and glared at the quinjet, then at Theresa, back at the quinjet and then he pursed his lips. “Newbie, you're going to clean the co-pilot's seat,” he pressed through his teeth before he left the hangar. _Great!_ she thought, _Rule number four, don't catch Barton and Stark in the act when Marks is around._


	5. The showers

“You okay?” Mary asked, slightly concerned, and looked down at her. She lay in the unisex locker room on one of the benches and tried to regain the ability to speak. She really liked Mary, but in the gym she was relentless. She always said the evil guys out in the field would also have no regards of somebodies sensitivities and so Theresa found herself more than once flat on her back in the locker room lately. But she had to admit it was getting better. She could hold that cruel pace at least half an hour now and didn't _faint_ after fifteen minutes like the first time.

“Yeah, I'm good. You can go back or... you know...” she gestured vaguely in a direction without looking which one.

“Okay. But you call if you pass out, right?” Mary chuckled and Theresa nodded. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her pulse and the burning pain in her legs and arms. 

She didn't know how much time had passed when she opened her eyes again but she knew that someone was there. She could hear the water in the showers behind the lockers and someone moaned. It sounded as if he – it was definitely a man – was in pain.

Quietly she rose and went over to look if he was okay when she discovered a few things at once. First, there wasn't only one man, there were two and she knew them by sight. Barton and Stark. They both stood under the spray with their backs to the entrance, Barton embraced Stark from behind and the way he moved his body told her what they did at the moment. She blushed violently. 

The second thing she discovered was that the two were hot. Really hot! She never had a thing for older men – she was twenty-one for fuck's sake – but Barton, about mid-thirties, and Stark, already in his forties, were smoking hot dudes. She saw some fresh bruises and cuts on their bodies but if she was honest to herself, she didn't want to know what exactly happened to them. It didn't seem pleasant. 

The third thing she discovered was, that she really enjoyed to watch them. She never thought that she had voyeuristic tendencies but the way those two moved together was... arousing. This wasn't their usual encounters in closets or conference rooms, this wasn't a quick fuck, this was love-making and she really could see the deep feelings those two men shared. The way Barton kissed Stark's neck, the way he wrapped his arms around the older man, the way they both moved in synchronism told her that they really were in love with each other.

“I've thought I had lost you,” Barton murmured quietly and moved his hand over the other man's chest and the glowing thingy he had there.

“I'm sorry,” Stark said, his head leaning against the tiles and that was the moment Theresa sneaked back.

And the last thing she discovered was, that she was glad not to be in their place. It's nice to work together with the person you love but when she heard them and she realized what it meant, that they both could die and the other had to watch, no, that wasn't something she wanted. And she decided to never get involved with someone she had to work with. 

With a last look at the doorway to the showers she went to her locker, grabbed her stuff and left as quiet as possible.


	6. The office

It was two months now that Theresa was here at HQ and she really liked it. But the fact, that she ran every other day into Barton and Stark fucking somewhere got on her nerves. Daniel had said that nearly all of the agents have filed complaints about them but Fury still refused to give in. Even the cleaning crew had complained about wiping away all the _stains_ they leave everywhere. 

So, she had thought about this for the last week and finally brought herself to write an application for transfer to another facility. She knew that technically no other base was as _prestigious_ as HQ, except the helicarrier, but all her encounters with the two men was... well... too much. 

With the application in her hand she went to the wing where all the senior agents and the Director and Deputy Director had their offices. The same part of the building where she ran into Barton and Stark for the first time on her way to Agent James's office.

She just turned the corner when she saw Agent James speaking with Deputy Director Hill and a huge black and bald man with leather coat and an eye patch. Director Fury. She had never met him in person before but everyone knew him. 

She didn't want to interrupt them and so she just waited where she was. 

From her spot she couldn't understand what they said but Fury nodded, patted James's shoulder and went to his office while James still talked to Hill. Theresa still waited when all hell broke loose. 

“What the fuck!! STARK! Get out! BARTON! Out of my fucking office!” She heard someone yell and realized, that it was Director Fury. Some doors opened and agents, their guns drawn, ran out into the corridor to see Fury curse and yell at Barton and Stark. The two left his office as fast as possible and nearly knocked her down while fleeing Fury's wrath. “If I see you here again in the next two months no one will be able to find your bodies, do you understand me!?” 

But the two were already vanished. Fury looked around at all the baffled and shocked and smug faces and went back into his office only to open the door a few seconds later. He shoved his office chair into the corridor and slammed the door shut again.

James nodded at Hill, smirked at the chair and came over to Theresa. “Agent O'Connell, sorry for the delay, you've wanted to talk to me?” He looked at the paper in her hand just like Theresa but now that Barton and Stark were banished for at least two months she thought about the application for another moment, teared it and smiled.

“Has been settled, sir. Sorry for the interruption.” James raised his brows for a moment but then he nodded. 

“Okay. Team meeting in an hour, we have a mission.” 

“Yes, sir,” Theresa smiled and left the building where she just saw Barton and Stark enter an expensive looking car. And Stark, who looked in her direction, smirked and winked.

**Author's Note:**

> [asamandra on tumblr](http://asamandra.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Caught](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288996) by [rippleeffect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rippleeffect/pseuds/rippleeffect)




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